Between Consent and Coersion, The Invisible Scripts of Heterosexual Sex

Abstract

This study examines how sexual conflicts within heterosexual relationships are described in online discourse and whether these accounts reflect patterns associated with mainstream pornographic scripts. It focuses on posts authored by men and women describing their real-life sexual experiences and conflicts in the private sphere, analyzing how such narratives address consent, violence, sexual agency and power and whether systemic gender differences are observable in how these conflicts are framed. The analysis draws on an interdisciplinary theoretical framework combining Cognitive Script Theory, the Sexual Behavior Sequence Approach and Social Dominance Theory. These perspectives illuminate how cultural scripts, behavioral sequences and structural hierarchies may be reproduced within sexual relationships.

Employing a qualitative netnographic method, the study analyses 77 posts from publicly accessible Reddit forums, collected between March and June 2025. Posts were coded along seven dimensions, consent, violence and degradation, objectification, pornographic scripts, power imbalance and domination, sexual agency and legitimizing myths, each assessed on a five-point scale from non-problematic to highly problematic.

The findings show that in most posts, male partners were described as initiating, directing or determining the pace or type of sexual activity, often placing their own pleasure above their partner’s preferences or comfort. Consent was frequently absent, instead appearing as compromised agreement or pressured compliance. Dominance was a recurring theme, with one partner exerting control over the encounter. Objectification ranged from emphasis on appearance or sexual availability to more explicit reductions of the partner to body parts or sexual functions. Pornographic scripts, such as facial ejaculation, anal sex and choking, were evident both through internalized ideas of compliance and through pressure exerted by the partner. Inequalities were often reinforced by legitimizing myths that framed dominance and submission as natural gender roles.

While causality cannot be established, the prevalence of dynamics aligning with mainstream pornographic narratives underscores the need for comprehensive sex education that promotes sexual agency and informed consent. By revealing how online discourse may reflect and normalize gendered sexual inequalities, this research contributes to broader scholarly and societal debates on media influence, sexual ethics and gender relations.