‘We Play Men’ Masculinity, Shame and Precariousness within Gay Leather Performances

Abstract

This thesis explores the performance of masculinity within gay leather subcultures through a queer autoethnographic lens. Grounded in a constructionist and performative approach to gender, the research examines the subcultural performance of the Leatherman in relation to societal norms. Drawing from personal experiences in the contemporary Amsterdam leather community and theoretical frameworks by Judith Butler, Eve Kosofsky Sedgwick, Sarah Ahmed, and Leo Bersani, this research delves into the complexities and contradictions within the concept of masculinity. Central to the Leatherman performance is the enactment of ‘masculinity realness’ fantasies, deeply entrenched in heteronormative ideals. By drawing parallels with drag performance, the Leatherman persona highlights the performativity of gender. However, the persistent hetero fantasies engender essentialist undertones, leading to a paradox of both idealization and subversion of traditional hetero-masculine norms. The study further examines how Leatherman performance is shaped by queer shame, utilizing BDSM sexual practices to underscore the precarious formation of the subject. Using the formulation ‘we play men,’ the exploration of the Leatherman performance is based on the hypothesis that non-conforming assigned males at birth begin to ‘play men’ during childhood due to the experience of shaming for not conforming to masculine ideals and continue to ‘play men’ throughout adulthood within the context of pleasure and sexual play. Leatherman performance navigates a journey from shame and failed masculinity to a fetishized celebration of hypermasculinity, symbolized by the leather material. Drawing from queer and affect theories, the thesis claims that ostensibly ‘extreme’ sexual practices of the Leatherman performance, which include fetishism and BDSM practices, offer broader insights into subject formation.